A guy matched with me. Then I ended up at a party celebrating his wedding

On haircuts, Hinge, and holidays after a break-up.

As you'll know from previous posts, I went on a solo trip to America this summer. Generally, it was a hoot, except for the brief time I dabbled in dating apps. Deciding I was sick of myself and that speaking to cute American guys with a Queens accent would be the ultimate distraction, I headed to the app store. I started with Bumble, but after five minutes of clicking around, I deleted it. Then I tried a Muslim counterpart, Muzz (sigh I feel like I have to apologise for this), which, at best, is an ego boost and at worst, a database of the creepiest, weirdest, and most sauceless men in an area near you.

I didn’t want to meet these men, have a holiday fling, or even get to know them. I wanted to know that I still had chat, that I could flex muscles I hadn't used in a while, and even entertain the thought of speaking to someone else.

Anyway, hidden among the list of guys who liked my profile (this isn't even a humble brag; these guys would 'like' a mop with a face stuck on), was one guy who stood out because of how familiar he looked. Using my internet sleuthing skills (not much was required), I realised he had the same background as one of my very own pictures: a wedding hall, to be exact. Bingo, we were at the same wedding earlier in the year.

He turned out to be my cousin’s cousin (not related to me, thank you very much!!), and not only that, he was married just a few months ago. I had no emotional investment in this man whatsoever; I was just curious why he was on a dating app despite being married. Had the bridal henna yet faded?? Had he even gone on a baecation? Was marital bliss so fleeting??

Unfortunately, stories like this are common – apparently, 65% of dating app users are already in a relationship according to one study (I must point out that research has yet to be carried out for Muzz, but I highly encourage it). Chatting with my single girlfriends, all two of them, I've found this to be true, at least anecdotally.

But what takes the cake is that I ended up at a family party a few days later celebrating the wedding of said match, with superimposed images of him and his blissfully unaware bride plastered on the wall. How fun.

So, American boys were not the answer, and I soon gave up. I didn't meet any of them, and I have no regrets. I've since deleted the apps, though I’m partial to the odd Hinge browse.

Since my breakup, which I am sick of writing about now, I've had quite a few firsts. I've been on holiday, had a $20 haircut at a sweaty salon in Flushing, started and finished several TV series, worked some new casual jobs, started some new hobbies, and I've had a whole summer as a singleton.

Even as I write all of this now, I feel like an imposter. I'm not in the same place I was when I first started writing about this topic. I guess I'm starting to settle into the next chapter of my life. Healing, is that you?